The hockey world was rocked last Thursday night when Sam Gagner tied a club record with eight points in the Edmonton Oilers’ 8-4 win over Chicago. The only other two Oiler players to do so: Paul Coffey, and some guy named Wayne.
Gagner, the subject of trade rumours in Edmonton, exploded against the visiting Blackhawks, scoring one fewer goal in the game (four) than he had in his previous 43 games (five). With four assists as well, Gagner became the unlikeliest of eight-point-getters, and the first since Mario Lemieux in 1988.
Below is a transcript of what went through people’s minds as Gagner’s night progressed in the historic night in Edmonton.
Pre-game:
Oilers’ F Jordan Eberle: &@^#, I’m playing with Gagner again.
Gagner: 30 days since I’ve scored…wonder if I’ll get my own website like Scott Gomez..
6:29 1st period, Chicago scores. 1-0
Gagner: Hm, maybe now would be a good time to score? Nah
Blackhawks G Corey Crawford: Sooooo bored…
1st Intermission
Oilers’ coach Tom Renney: I’m thinking line changes…but nobody wants to play with Sam.
Eberle: I DON’T WANT TO PLAY WITH SAM
00:40 2nd period, Chicago scores. 2-0
Renney: Ok, line changes, line changes…
Oilers’ F Taylor Hall: Well, this sucks…
Crawford: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
2:22 2nd period, Gagner makes 3-line pass to Hall, who buries it. 2-1 Hawks. (1A)
Renney: Holy moly, hell of a pass by Gagner.
Crawford: Holy moly, hell of a pass by Gagner.
Gagner: Holy moly, hell of a pass…
Hall: Holy moly, hell of a goal by me!
7:26 2nd period, Gagner scores on a wrap around. 2-2 game. (1G, 1A)
Gagner: I SCORED!
Renney: Oh come on, that was nothing special…I could have scored that goal.
12:23 2nd period, Gagner loses the puck just inside the offensive zone but Ryan Whitney picks it up and slaps it home. 3-2 Oilers. (1G, 2A)
Gagner: WHITNEY SCORED!
Eberle: Greasiest assist ever by Gagner…
Crawford: &@#^!
Whitney: First goal in over a year, and no website for me. Suck it Gomez!
Renney: …They’re really giving an assist to Gagner? What a sham.
15:33 2nd period, Patrick Sharp scores 2nd of the game for Chicago. 3-3 tie.
Sharp: I can have a multi-point game too, Gagner!
2nd Intermission
Gagner: Yeah, I have three points. Wait, in the season or in the game? In the game? You’ve got to be joking.
Eberle: I WANT TO PLAY WITH SAM!
Crawford: That shmuck has three points?? That’s it, this stops now.
1:54 3rd period, Gagner taps in a rebound off the end boards into an open net. 4-3 Oilers. (2G, 2A)
Gagner: THIS IS AWESOME!
Renney: Again, I could have scored that one…show me something good, like that first pass.
Crawford: &@#^!
3:43 3rd period, Cam Barker takes the pass from Andy Sutton, who got a pass from Gagner, and slaps home a screened shot. 5-3 Oilers. (2G, 3A) Crawford is pulled and Ray Emery enters the game in goal.
Whitney: Cammy’s first goal since October. No website. Gomez = HA!
Gagner: I got an assist on that one, too? Man, am I lucky.
Renney:…You can’t be serious.
Wayne Gretzky: What’s that? Some kid in Edmonton is putting up five points tonight? Hm.
Crawford: Thank GOD I’m being pulled. Time for Emery to take the brunt of the embarrassment now…
5:57 3rd period, David Bolland narrows the lead to 5-4.
Gagner: No worries, I got this.
6:25 3rd period, Gagner takes a nifty pass from Hall in the corner and one-times it past Crawford. 6-4 Oilers. (3G, 3A)
Renney: Knock me down and call me a leprechaun, it’s the kid’s lucky night.
Gagner: Somewhere, Scott Gomez is crying.
Hall: I just made a sick pass. Someone notice me!
Edmonton fans: Gagner has a hat trick?! That can’t be right
14:31 3rd period, Gagner completes a tic-tac-toe play from Eberle and Hall. 7-4 Oilers. (4G, 3A)
Gagner: I have such great linemates.
Eberle: Good thing Renney didn’t switch me…
Renney: I’m a g.d. genius I tell you!
Hall: Hello? Anyone? Will someone acknowledge me?!
16:15 3rd period, Gagner takes a pass from Hall and makes a great play to Eberle, who knocks in an easy goal. 8-4 Oilers.
Eberle: THANK YOU RENNEY!
Renney: A GENIUS!
Crawford: Emery sucks, Emery sucks, Emery sucks, Emery sucks…
Hall: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD DID NOBODY SEE MY PASS?!
In Montreal:
Canadiens G Carey Price: Hey, does someone want to go check on Gomez? He’s not answering my texts…
Canadiens G Carey Price: Hey, does someone want to go check on Gomez? He’s not answering my texts…
Canadiens C Scott Gomez: *curled up in fetal position*
Gretzky: Well, good for him I guess. I have enough records, he can tie that one, sure.
Post-game, Gagner is selected as the game’s 1st, 2nd, and 3rd star.
Gagner: Are they allowed to do that? Oh well, people are cheering for me, I'll take it!
Renney: GENIUS!
Eberle: Yeah, the guy deserves it.
Hall: *&@^#&*@^#&%#@&^%#&@#^@%#@&*#^(*@*!!!!
Oilers’ G Devan Dubnyk: O hey everyone, I made 43 saves. No big deal.
Note: Gagner had 2 goals and an assist on Saturday against Colorado, while Eberle scored a pair of goals. Monday against Toronto, Hall had two assists while Eberle again scored two goals. In the past four games, Gagner has 6 goals and 7 assists, while Eberle has 6 goals and 3 assists. Hall has 3 goals and 6 assists in his last five games.
Video of all Gagner's points from the Chicago game can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znJaA9CZ1K8
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